Most Fantasy Worlds Are Pretty Crappy, Actually

[rowyn]

I first saw this meme on Twitter via Geoge Takei, but here's the image:



And I had to stop and think: would I actually want to LIVE in any of these places?

Let's start with places I definitely don't want to go to:

* Westeros: are you INSANE? It'd be like moving to medieval England during the War of the Roses. No. Hell no. Why is this even on here?
* Camelot: Okay, now it's medieval England just BEFORE the War of Roses, which will ruin everything forever. Still hell no.
* Wonderland: I think mixing LSD and mescaline would be safer and less terrifying. Pass.
* Neverland: The fairies only liked little kids, and I am not one. So I probably wouldn't get to fly. This setting was at best rustic and primitive for adults, assuming the pirates don't get you. Pass.
* Middle Earth: Elves get to be immortal or nearly so, which is cool if you're an elf. But the general society is still rustic and primitive and I'm still going to be a human. I don't think women even get to be wizards in this world. Also, is this before or after Sauron trashes everything just prior to his defeat? Either way ... I think I have to pass.

That leaves:

* Narnia: It's been about thirty years since I read the Narnia books. The biggest plus here was the talking animals, and IIRC magic usage was not confined to a tiny number of people. I think I need a refresher course before I can decide if I'd want to live here or not. Do I get to go to perfected version of Narnia that exists after the last book or do I have to survive the war in it first? I am not sure I like my odds.
* Hogwarts: am I going to be a Muggle? Then pass. If I can learn magic -- is this before or after the final confrontation with Voldemort? If it's before, maybe I can warn Harry et al before various disasters hit. Well, Harry probably wouldn't listen. Dumbledore might, though. Anyway, this setting is slightly suckier than the real world if you can't use magic (because you will randomly get killed by Death Eaters and whatnot), and perhaps slightly better if you can, assuming you don't get tortured by Death Eaters or those happiness-devouring jailers or killed during a brutal wizard war that decimates the population. Umm.

I have the bad feeling that I'd be happier staying home. The modern world is surprisingly awesome. I think I'd probably take the Hogwarts option, though. I'd never forgive myself if I wimped out on seeing magic at ALL, just because it was dangerous and I might be horribly tortured or possessed or compelled to kill my friends or ... yeah. I don't think those were *normal* fates in the setting. Maybe. It was hard to tell. Anyway. I'd re-read both sets of books first and make sure I don't want to go for Narnia, and try Hogwarts if not. Wish me luck. I'd need it. O_O;;;

Comments

[ankewehner.livejournal.com]

RE Middle Earth and Wizards, what I gathered from comments by people who read more of Tolkien's stuff than I did, wizards aren't humans, but something like demigods or angels or so.

[rowyn]

That sounds right. It never seemed like one could learn to become a wizard.

[octantis.livejournal.com]

Hahaha, I had been thinking the same thing! Especially frickin' Westeros! The books paint a horrifying world of death and rape, and last time I glanced at the show, a shadow monster assassin was crawling out of a woman's vagoo. Jebus cripes.

[rowyn]

If anyone has ever picked Westeros in this meme, I seriously want to know what the heck they were thinking.

One of my criteria when writing Silver Scales was that I wanted a setting that I'd be reasonably happy to live in as an ordinary person. :) It's got some pretty nasty faults, but it's still pretty good for most inhabitants, and has some readily-available perks over modern America.

But if I was going to pick a fictional world to live in, I'd probably go with something like John C. Wright's _The Golden Age_, which is a super-high-tech setting with every kind of comfort available to virtually everyone. A post-scarcity society on Earth, where the only things you still need money for are stuff like deep space exploration or terraforming projects.

[tuftears.livejournal.com]

I'd rather live somewhere like the Culture (Iain Banks) or Star Trek/the Federation. ;) The present is good but the future could be awesome.

[octantis.livejournal.com]

I have to assume it's someone reeeeally enamored of the knightly pageantry.

Now, if you could bring some modern world stuff with you ala Connecticut Yankee, would that change anything? ... Looking at it, I'm not really sure how these would be improved by assault rifles and iPods. Do you suppose ringwraiths and the Witch King are bulletproof?

[terrycloth.livejournal.com]

If they're swordproof, they're probably also bulletproof. Bullets aren't magic, and the swords in that setting often were. n.n

Maybe the people who choose Westeros are planning on bringing a small army's worth of modern weapons to clean up the setting?

Whereever I went, I'd want to bring the internet with me. I'm not sure how that would be feasible, unless sympathetic magic worked perhaps? Once connected to wifi, always connected to wifi!

[terrycloth.livejournal.com]

Wonderland might be fun to visit, but you'd have to be crazy to want to live there.

Hogwarts is someplace you could commute to. It's supposed to exist in the real world.

Narnia would be interesting just for the bit where you can live your entire life there, then return to the real world and no time passed and you didn't age. So regardless of the quality of your life there, the quantity is hard to argue with.

[octantis.livejournal.com]

Yeah, probably. Maybe you could have mystical arborang bullets cast by dwarves or elves! :D Mithril would probably be too light to use...

I'm sure we could assume we had an inter dimensional router. Maybe a palantir with an Ethernet port. XD

[rowyn]

Sythyry and Delight both have various levels of Internet service in World Tree. :D

[xyzzysqrl]

I think I could handle Wonderland. Alice was rather non-proactive and made a lot of very poor choices. I'm fairly certain I could manage better.

Meanwhile I am over here going "What, no Oz? These doors are BROKEN."

[okojosan.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I was wondering the same thing; I'm surprised Oz isn't on the list.

[octantis.livejournal.com]

Or Xanth. It may not be spectacular writing, but there sure is a lot of wish fulfillment in it, so...

[okojosan.livejournal.com]

I don't think Xanth is as deeply embedded in the culture (I feel the same way about Westeros, actually, I think Oz would be a better choice than Westeros. I suspect a lot of the people who watch Game of Thrones don't even know what Westeros is? Maybe I'm wrong.)

[rowyn]

One thing I noticed about this list is that all the fantasy worlds named have had major film/TV releases in the last 20 years or so. With the exception of Westeros and Hogwarts, they've all had MULTIPLE film and/or stage adaptations. That's a bar Oz clears too, making its absence curious, but most fantasy settings don't have that level of fame.

[rowyn]

Yeah, I was just thinking that Westeros & Hogwarts aren't classics yet, the way Oz and the other five from the list are. Oz really should've been on the list!

And agreed that Westeros is the least famous of the lot, by a large margin. It may be about the same age as Hogwarts, but it doesn't have nearly the same level of recognition yet.

[rowyn]

I might do better in Wonderland than Alice did, but I don't think I'd really enjoy living it, y'know? Maybe for a week or two, but not without a guaranteed way home.

[rowyn]

Yeah, the advantage to Hogwarts is you could still get to the Internet, or at least go home and get internet access. n.n

I forgot that the no-time-lapsed effect applied to all the protagonists, not just in the first book. OK, I clearly need to go to Narnia.

[rowyn]

Bringing some technology or scientific knowledge along might make the world suck les, but I don't think it's going to change the world to make it as good as comfortable as modern America regardless. :D

[rowyn]

It's kind of sad that we have more awesome sf settings than fantasy ones, though. Or at least it seems that way. Too much fantasy rooted in the past!

[tuftears.livejournal.com]

Fantasy in the future is post-apocalyptic and no one wants that either. ;)

[rowyn]

I want the fantasy setting where they use magic to make everything awesome!

[terrycloth.livejournal.com]

Hmm. I'm not sure it was spelled out but each time they had recurring characters all the aging seemed to happen on the Earth side. Of course, you had to be a kid to start with. :/ One of them grew to high school age and Aslan rejected her.

[tuftears.livejournal.com]

Any sufficiently advanced magic is indistinguishable from science fiction?

[whitefangedwolf.livejournal.com]

I reject the premise of the meme because it's pretty horrifying if you think though the ramifications.

First, let's look at the relatively inconsequential settings:

Westeros and Middle-Earth are clearly alternate realities so they can be safely ignored.

Wonderland and Neverland are places with connections to Earth but have no majorly noticeable effects.

Narnia had clear Earth ties and clear ties to real-world history. Considering the end of the Last Battle and relative ages of characters, the Narnia seen in the books is long gone and not a option for visiting. The Narnia in Aslan's Country appears to be only accessible to those from Earth who died, so carefully consider if you really want to take that option.

Now, let's look at the settings that could affect the here-and-now:

Camelot's set in an idealized fictional past. If real, theoretically King Arthur could return, according to certain legends, but so far he hasn't shown up.

The existence of Hogwarts means that the Harry Potter setting is real. The only good news is that all timeline calculations place Voldemort as being long dead. The bad news is that you are a Muggle and all of the horrible terrible nasty spells that can be used are real. Don't forget that memory-altering charms are also in effect, so anything you think you remember might not be true and valued memories may have been erased.

In conclusion, let's replace Hogwarts with Oz. Oz is nicer to visit and is isolated from the rest of the world, which causes less trouble for non-residents.