Finish It: Let Him Go

Oct. 19th, 2017 01:13 pm
aldersprig: (Viddie)
[personal profile] aldersprig
The last Finish It! before NanoWrimo: Tilden, from This Story

It had been two weeks.

Tilden had repeated, calmly but insistently, “you should let me go.” Every night. Every time Laufeia ordered him to do something unpleasant – and Laufeia had a taste for rather unpleasant things. Every time she ordered him naked. “You should let me go.”

Eleri, whose own Kept had walked into the collar willingly and who had not nearly the taste for cruelty as her friend, found herself in a bit of a tight spot. She could advise Laufeia to release Tilden – but every time she did, Laufeia got a little nastier, a little angrier. She didn’t just take it out on Tilden, either, but on Eleri and on Caetano and on their third crew-mate, Manlius, who took it all in without seeming to notice or care. Then again, Manlius took in everything. Only at dawn did you get a sense for how stressed he’d been, as the “sun rose” in his room with intense heat or nothing at all.

read on…
archangelbeth: Bleach's Captain Byakuya, three-quarters view. Captioned: sigh (Sigh)
[personal profile] archangelbeth
Arranged an Xmas present for incandescens. BUT NO, THE ORDER COULD NOT BE COMPLETED FOR SOME OBSCURE REASON! *puts head down and cries*

Found postcards. Bought myself some purple jeans. They're not very Jeans-Fabricy but they're purple and they fit and they are very flattering. No, really, the inside pocket fabric says things like, "You rock!" and the like.

I have been out and about and fighting with websites and driving (when my eyes didn't want to focus long-distance 'cause I was reading my phone with my glasses down again, oops) and now I want to curl up and be antisocial.

Please forgive the antisocial. Plz buy a book.

Havva Quote
M~~~ ponders which angel holds the Word of Quilts. A Cherub, perhaps.
arcangel says, “Faith.”
arcangel says, “Much as the Angels of Crochet and Knitting are.”
arcangel says, “Because you have to have faith that mess of yarn will turn out to look how you want.”
M~~~ hehs.
M~~~ | ELI : Khalid, dude, you are totally ganking a whole load of Words what oughta be mine.
M~~~ | KHALID : Odd you should say that - I have David on the other line about how it's totally unfair that I've got Sculpting too.
arcangel snickers.
arcangel | Kathriel: Hey!
M~~~ | KHALID : Given the journey from an unshaped block to a finished piece, how can that not be Faith? Indeed, it can be argued that all Words ultimately are a matter of Faith . . .
M~~~ | (Laurence was very annoyed later when the whole schism thing and Khalid getting on the outs with the rest of Heaven was portrayed as a purely Sword-Faith issue.)
arcangel LAUGHS
S••••• | Novalis notes that cotton and linen from flowering plants. And that Jordi isn't interested in any fiber arts except weaving webs and cocoons from silk.
M~~~ | JORDI: Actually, we've got some copyright infringement notices here from Grandmother Spider...

INwatch+Bookwatch )
Dragons under fold )

Ow ow ow

Oct. 17th, 2017 09:41 pm
archangelbeth: Face with glasses and large red horns. Looking blah and-or grumpy. (DjinnBeth)
[personal profile] archangelbeth
Took out the trash and bashed my temple on the hatchback-lid because when I flipped it up... it didn't go up as far as I thought it would. It was dark OUTSIDE WHERE I WAS BECAUSE THERE IS NO ROOM IN MY SIDE OF THE GARAGE and I didn't see, and was distracted by blasted pine sap that had somehow gotten into one of my sandals while I was hauling the trashbag out to the car WHICH DID I MENTION IS OUTSIDE.

And I still have pine sap on my foot. What gets pine sap off?! Hand soap doesn't do it...

Spouse went for a crown on one of his teeth, but the dentist didn't like the x-rays and wants a root-canal specialist to look at it because he doesn't want his crown getting holes drilled in it for root canals subsequently.

Kid has no spoons because yesterday burnt them all.

I still need to go down and do my exercise ring on my watch.

I didn't get enough sleep but I did get a nap so that helped some. I'm still so tired.

Got a little editing done for friend.

Here, have a somewhat distressing article.

Havva Quote
"No, you may not help me mine dilithium, Flicker. Cats do not make good dilithium miners. Especially one rubbing on the screen."
--My spouse, talking to Flicker, who is 'helping'

INwatch+Bookwatch )

Dragons under fold )

Wise Words from Fate/Grand Order

Oct. 17th, 2017 07:08 pm
xyzzysqrl: A moogle sqrlhead! (Default)
[personal profile] xyzzysqrl

To live is to suffer. To live with a tail is divine. We should all have cake or something.

A New World: Myths

Oct. 17th, 2017 01:03 pm
aldersprig: (Mermaid 2)
[personal profile] aldersprig
“That is… a very good question.  But I suppose the answer lies in the fact that Kaelingrade is said to have disappeared, isn’t she?  Whereas Carrenonna-”  She trailed off, hoping someone knew.

“Kaelingrade vanished without a trace, tower and all, in a cold spring one day during the Aterpian Wars,” read the father. “What are - oh, those were some of the wars before we landed, weren’t they?  Skirmishes?”

Kael raised her eyebrows at the man. “Skirmishes?  You are talking about battles when thousands on thousands of people died.”

“But they didn’t have real technology here, did they?  Before we, I mean, before colonists came.  That was a long time ago, but I know there wasn’t anything like modern warfare.”

“Oh, come on, Dad.”  The older daughter rolled her eyes.  “Just because we can drop bombs and blow up entire cities now doesn’t mean that we’re superior or something.  And besides, they had magic back then, real magic, didn’t they?”

“Aria, what did we say about-”

read on…

Patreon Posts!

Oct. 17th, 2017 09:54 am
aldersprig: a red-heded freckled girl, smiling (Autumn)
[personal profile] aldersprig

This is a weird one.  Today’s Patreon Sum-up involves three stories I wrote, not to prompts, but because they appeared to me.  All crossovers of one sort or another. 


Okay, so I’m working on my outlines for Finish It nanowrimo coming up in, well, November.  And I got to the one for Facets of Dusk and I started thinking about – well, the doors they might open


“Get us someplace with medical care!” Simon shouted.
“Someplace with advanced technomagical medical care.”  Aerich’s aristocratic snarl sounded panicked.
“Someplace they’re not going to shoot at us.”  Cole’s voice was calm.  But Cole, who had Josie in his arms, also sounded serious.
Read On

I blame this on my current marathon re-read of the Sandman comics.  


On Halloween, 2011, when the walls between worlds were thinner than they had ever been, the woman called The Cat Who Walks Through Walls (because her Mentor had been fond of Robert Heinlein, in his day and in her day) left her kids with her sister, as per their arrangement, and slipped out between those world-barriers.

Read On!

Okay, I guess the theme is really talking to me this month. 

Here’s another bonus, spurred on but not really related to a line from a Popular Mechanics article I read last night: (paraphrase) “AI is going to make the Industrial Revolution look small.”


Autumn knew better than to grab the strands of the world too much around Hallowe’en.
Everything was thinner at that time, more responsive, more willing to bend and twist and open.

Read On!


Oct. 16th, 2017 11:19 pm
archangelbeth: Oedipus confronts the Sphinx, overlaid with the words "Hubris Requests Exact Change" (Hubris Requests Exact Change)
[personal profile] archangelbeth
Well, 7 hours or so. I need more, but it's better than SIX.

Tried to do dental things but kid was having too much stress and the dentist was not taking the right tone to help the kid get through it, so... we rescheduled. For January. *sigh* Unless they have a cancellation. Well, we'll see.

I am direly tired of having to park outside. I want my garage back! *sob* But this requires our contractor guy to not have thrown his back/leg out on other stuff. (Like, for instance, getting almost all the siding back on the garage exterior.) I WANT TO NOT HAVE STICKY PINE CONES LANDING ON MY CAR! *sob* I want to be able to get in and out of the car outside of the weather and most of the climate!

I want my garage space back. *cry*

At least my headache went away when I was able to sleep on MY pillow in MY bed.

Havva Quote
[AO3-5188] - When trying to download a work as an ePub, users would frequently be served .zip files or a page of gibberish instead. We found the cause for this (caching! it's always caching!) and rewrote part of our download code to address the issue. Downloads should be served more reliably now.

INwatch+Bookwatch )

Dragons under fold )
aldersprig: (NanoGiraffe)
[personal profile] aldersprig
The original poll was a little too long, so I'm divvying this up into little polls for everyone's sanity.

This is four out of either five or six.

Poll #18954 Fourth Poll of the Polling Polls
Open to: Registered Users, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 7

Planners, Unicorn/Factory, Standalone and/or Shadow Rebellion: Which of these stories should I continue?

View Answers

Beginning with a Kiss
0 (0.0%)

Breaking In
1 (14.3%)

2 (28.6%)

Where Do Unicorns Come From?
3 (42.9%)

1 (14.3%)

The Silver Road
3 (42.9%)

Cleaning House/Observing
4 (57.1%)

The Shadow Rebellion
3 (42.9%)

0 (0.0%)

Friendly Fiend Forgetting
3 (42.9%)

The Tuesday Map.
1 (14.3%)

A Toque for Hill Primus.
1 (14.3%)

Eralon Explains
4 (57.1%)

What (not on the giant list) should I continue for Science!, Fairy Town, Things Unspoken, and/or Inner Circle?

The Links
Beginning with a Kiss
Breaking In
Where Do Unicorns Come From?
The Silver Road
Cleaning House/Observing
The Shadow Rebellion
Friendly Fiend Forgetting
The Tuesday Map.
A Toque for Hill Primus.
Eralon Explains

Links for original Poll

Stranded/Reiassan Poll

II: Addergoole/Tír na Cali Poll

III: Dragons Next Door, Vas' World, & Facets of Dusk poll

Federating a MU* system, Part 1

Oct. 16th, 2017 04:08 pm
inventrix: (Default)
[personal profile] inventrix
The simplest way to approach it would be for each server to exist as "worlds" or "realms" - not in the segregated-copy sense that most MMOs use it these days, but more in the sense of a fantasy story with alternate universes, each with their own history, rules, etc. Much in the same way an instance in the fediverse has its own location and rules and internal data - themes, software version, so forth - each of the federated MU* realms would have its own map, rules, characters, NPCs, and so forth.

But so far, that's the same as any two MU* games running on different servers. In order to allow players to travel and interact between different realms, you need a basic framework for the realms to share between each other. This basic framework would by necessity be tied into the structure and design of the federating protocol - and, ideally, would be extendable, allowing different realms to build greater complexity in their systems that would, however, still federate the information. (A good example of how handling differences in mechanics and features should work is federating custom emoji in mastodon; instances that have it pull in and display the custom emoji, and instances that don't receive and display the shortcodes as text.)

That brings you to the question of what information needs to be federated, and what should be handled by the realm server. There are some basic ideas that are obvious as to-federate, but here is, I think, a comprehensive list:

  • Basic account information: character name, description, statistics, inventory, account ID and home realm.
    • The first three fields should ideally be treated as a single entity when federating, with parsing out the parts of it done server-side - much like a single status post in OStatus or AP. That would allow individual realms to divide them up to support different types of features or systems. Examples:
      • Description combining the default appearance/personality/history sections into one freeform description, or have the description generated entirely by in-game functions and features (wearing items, character race, et al.)

      • Creating a Title system, allowing your character to earn a title that gets added to their name.

      • Using entirely different systems of ability or skill scores. (This gets complicated; I think I'm going to write up a whole post about it later.)

    • Account ID and home realm would act similarly to account information in AP and OStatus, so it shouldn't need to be extendable and in fact messing with it should probably break federation.

  • ​Basic location information: room description, exit locations.
    • Much like character description, room description should be designed to allow individual realms to increase or decrease complexity (down to a single entity or removal) without breaking federation. A good default would be: room name, room description, list of interactable items/NPCs.

    • Which takes us to...

  • Basic item information: items, objects, equipment, NPCs?
    • Items need a unique identifier per type of item, a display name for the item, and a description of the item, at minimum. Additional stats and numerical information should be packaged into the description field for purposes of federation - the display name possibly should be as well.

    • NPCs could count, for purposes of federation, the same as items. It is an entity that a player can interact with, after all; the complexity of how it response and if it's scripted to do things is all entirely server-side. However, NPCs are involved in...

  • Basic communication: in-room speech, private messages, DMing, NPC dialogue
    • This should work fairly similarly to AP social media federation, except simplified to text-only and the publicity defined by location rather than follow status. Examples:

      • Single room range - /say

      • Multi-room or realm-wide range - /shout

      • Single-person range - /whisper [name]

    • And speaking of...

  • Command responses: this is fairly obvious
    • If you're visiting another realm from your realm, your commands should be federated to the realm you're visiting and you should get the appropriate responses.

    • NPC dialogue may in fact count in this category, but it gets complicated, because NPC dialogue and communication should look mostly the same as player communication.

If you can send those pieces of information reliably between two realm servers and have them each able to consistently process it, then you have the basis of a federating MU* all set. And as it happens, a lot of these things are similar to the things federating social media already handles, so you don't even have to start from scratch. For example, basic account/character information is really the same as social media account information, just processed for a slightly different purpose. Player communication? like sending statuses. Items are like custom emoji, and so forth.

I have more thoughts on the information-processing side of this but I think I'll separate that into another post.
aldersprig: (Side Quest)
[personal profile] aldersprig
They made it to the bathhouse without further incident. Raizel had never been inside a place like this, but she’d heard the stories and descriptions from people in the town that went down into the flatter lands: There were rainfall devices where you soaped off, and then big drinking-trough tubs to soak in and bathhouse boys and girls to wash your back and your hair.

She left her things in the locked box she could see from her tub, the key around her wrist, and stood under the lukewarm falling water scrubbing herself with a bar of soap her trei had bought them. Next to her, the Diamond Raven, clad in nothing but a golden rope around his neck, did the same.

read on…
aldersprig: (lynSnow)
[personal profile] aldersprig
Our router gave up the ghost last week, leaving us with considerably less interwebs than we are used to, and, due to an Amazon misunderstanding (did you know Prime ever meant not-quick-shipping? We didn’t!), this situation persisted through the weekend.

I (re-)read all of the Sandman graphic novels and Robin Hobb’s Assassin’s Apprentice.

I also started thinking about the time before we had two computers, and the time when we didn’t spend so much time on the internet that having one connection was a hardship.

read on…


Oct. 15th, 2017 11:42 pm
archangelbeth: Woman doing a zombie "braaaaains" pose (Braaains!)
[personal profile] archangelbeth
Have a headache -- probably from sleeping on hotel pillows.

But home. I like home. Home is good.

Very little sleep. (Had to get up early enough to go get hotel breakfast -- they stop serving at 9:30 ON THE DOT. They had cheese omelets which were decent but ugly-looking. I had some of those, orange juice, a couple slices of toast with apple jelly, and TEA. I did "room service" for kid, with bacon, a sausage patty, pancakes, one omelet, and orange juice.)

Have done nothing of use all day, except not fall asleep on anyone.

Spouse has not been sleeping well -- possibly a cold, possibly allergies -- and slept pretty much from when kid and I got back (around 10) till 2.

Lo, and that is all of interest today. And not much interest...

Oh, got some editing done for friend. Yay? I will get him to grok commas someday...

Havva Quote
----------------------Quoted by E••••-----------------------
Accordion to a recent study, replacing words with the names of musical instruments in a sentence often goes undetected.

INwatch+Bookwatch )

Dragons under fold )

this week: holy unmercenaries

Oct. 15th, 2017 06:58 am
elbren: (icon)
[personal profile] elbren
Saints Zenaida, Philonella, Hermione, and Eukhidia healed the sick regardless of their ability to pay. Zenaida and Philonella established their free clinic in a cavern with mineral springs. Zenaida specialized in pediatrics and treating mental illness, and Philonella in gynecology and distinguishing medicine from magic and astrology. Hermione and Eukhidia founded the first hospital-hostel, offering treatment and lodging to travelers and the poor.
ink outline drawing of four 1st century women

Roofer has flu

Oct. 14th, 2017 08:49 pm
archangelbeth: Bleach's Captain Byakuya, three-quarters view. Captioned: sigh (Sigh)
[personal profile] archangelbeth

however, contractor was banging all day, and by the time we heard he wasn't going to be in tomorrow, well, we might as well stick to the Plan of staying here. *sigh*

There are noisy kids in the pool and I am exhausted just listening to them.

Also cannot go into the pool myself, because I do not want to attract sharks. *SIGH*

Edited a chunk of Thing for friend. Pondering whether I should set up the other machine for STO. Dunno.

Finished Strange Practice yesterday.

Tweaked my latest Borg story on AO3. Uploaded s'more SSO Prologue to AO3. Got like maybe 2 paragraphs of dialogue on Copper Leaf Bargains? Yay?

Havva Quote
Working at Dogskull Patch today. Have located the legendary Mason Jar Burial Ground, where these noble beasts come to die.

INwatch+Bookwatch )

Dragons under fold )

Recordkeeping: Ara Fell COMPLETE

Oct. 13th, 2017 11:10 pm
xyzzysqrl: A moogle sqrlhead! (Default)
[personal profile] xyzzysqrl
My, RPGMaker really is full of things.

A while back, when I played Last Dream, I posted on Twitter:

"After playing Last Dream, Steam is PUSHING RPGmaker games at me.
"Ara Fell"
"Sydney's World"
"Final Fantasy XIII"
"Evil Maze"..."

It was A: A joke about the sheer plethora of RPG Maker games on Steam's banners once it scents you're receptive to the genre, and B: A bit of smartassery at FF13. However, Ara Fell's game dev team REPLIED TO MY DUMB TWEET and oh my god that was a jolt. It was basically just a "Enjoy it if you try it!" but it was enough to guilt me into purchasing the game.

Because I'm a giant weenie, that's why.

Anyway Ara Fell has like a dozen great points and a small handful of bad points. In a world where for a while it was Elves VS. Vampires until humans showed up, our heroine Lita just wants to explore and become an award-winning archer. A chance encounter with some magical jewelry means she's forced into the position of saving the world...

...and man it's kind of weird when your RPG PARTY is so fed up and done with their own quest? Like, midway through the game the entire party gets real grumpy at YET ANOTHER midboss popping up in front of them and just starts chewing it out. That's okay though. The battle system is pretty briskly paced and if you hate it, hey, there's a "Story Mode" option that just lets you throw 9999 until everything's dead and you can get back to the plot. Around Chapter 4 of 6 I turned that on because let's face it, I wasn't proving anything to anyone.

Game still took me around 18 hours. Would've been over 20 without the I Win button.

Anyway, the writing's a little... quirky. The game's also beautiful, with vivid colors and non-static life-filled screens as you explore... except sometimes it's so damn busy and energetic that it wears on the eyes. Or worse, you can't quite make out whether what you're pushing at isn't a valid route or if there's just a stick in the way, buried under shadows and flower petals blowing in the breeze.

Ara Fell isn't badly written, isn't unfun to play, and isn't what you're likely to think of when you think 'RPG Maker', but it DOES have some quirks that show its engine. Your quest log and the crafting system are entirely kept as items in your inventory, for example. I could tell that was a compromise from something. If I had to be honest, I'd say that certain aspects of the plot are a little... predictable, too. The quality of the character writing pushes it through though.

This was worth picking up, and it's a good reminder: Be careful what you say on Twitter. You never know who's watching.

Back in a hotel

Oct. 13th, 2017 08:47 pm
archangelbeth: An anthropomorphic feline face, with feathered wing ears, and glasses, in shades of gray. (Default)
[personal profile] archangelbeth
Roofers are DEFINITELY coming this time (and even if they didn't, there would definitely be banging on the house walls), so we are in the oldest hotel/motel in town. (It was the only one that had rooms and was vaguely nearby. All others are full up. I am boggled. What are people in our town for??) We are in one of the original rooms, which used to be an outdoor motel room, so now it's got a window overlooking the indoor swimming pool below.

It is small, especially compared to the awesome one from a couple weeks ago. The bed-lights "turn on" knob is a twist-button thing, but it has to be shoved in and twisted or it doesn't work. The bedside clock was plugged into the power-outlets-and-USB-charger device, but that thing wasn't plugged all the way into the wall socket behind the bedside desk, so the clock wasn't working. Which was probably good, as it meant I didn't try to charge anything and discover it wasn't working! Anyway, the desk was light-weight and thus I could just move it back, fix the plug in the outlet, and ta-da.

The air-conditioner unit is high up in the wall, and has a little airflow-vane that it's waving up and down slowly to circulate the frigid air. I'll have to figure out what to set it to, since it's a little hot when it's not blowing frigid air on me, and way too cold when it is. -_-

But we have probably barely enough outlets for the electronics, and a microwave and a fridge. (No kitchenette this time. Sadness.) And it's not like home isn't 10 minutes away (15 if traffic is terrible).

And I didn't forget my nightgown this time.

(Last night was very rough, and I did not get to bed till 5 in the morning, and THAT was on the foot of the kid's bed. Ugh.)

Havva Quote
It was, in fact, a dark and stormy night, with a little thunder muttering in the east over the Isle of Dogs, and the people he passed on the street were hurrying to get out of it, heads burrowed down in to hunched shoulders. Nobody paid him any attention as he made his way toward the Blackfriars bus stop: just another man in a dark coat, perhaps paler than most, his black hair combed straight back from a high forehead. The overall effect was slightly spoiled by the fact that dampness made his hair frizz.
--Strange Practice, by Vivian Shaw
(This is a paragraph from the page I'm on in the ebook, which went on sale for a reasonable ebook price, which is why I have the trade paperback (at home) and the ebook, and I'm not going to go quote the bit where the main protagonist's purse gets described and I went YES GOOD BOOK, because I'd lose my place. Yes, my prior sentence is terrible and should be shot.)

INwatch+Bookwatch )

Dragons under fold )
xyzzysqrl: A moogle sqrlhead! (Default)
[personal profile] xyzzysqrl
Going into Elder Scrolls Online I basically wanted one thing: a constantly-updated open-world game I could dick around in. It could've been Guild Wars 2, if I was still into that game. It could've been some other MMO. Hell, it could've been Warframe, even though I still have absolutely zero understanding of how to effectively play Warframe.

I had ESO around in Gold form from a sale, though, so it was ESO I popped on my PC.

With the BF interested in the game as well, I'm relieved that it's serving the secondary purpose of "Being a fairly solid two-player Elder Scrolls game". We've been romping around doing quests that are basically as well-written dialogue-wise as a servicable quest from Skyrim or Oblivion.

I mean, not like those are hugely high standards, but I've always liked the writing in both games and I like it here too. We decided to take a break from the main faction quest line of "Relentless Elf Politics" and head up to Wrothgar, home of the Orcs, to get involved in... uh, Relentless Orc Politics. At least orc politics are usually solved by someone hitting someone else, so y'know. Catharsis.

So that was the main quest, but we also romped up and down the snowy mountains and rugged shattered landscape of Wrothgar doing sidequests. We discovered the truth behind a bit of lore some people have been wondering about, and learned that the best techniques really are passed down by the survivors. We helped a Khajiit ("Cat Person") raised as an orc get in touch with his feline heritage. We freed people from jail and discovered museum pieces and found creepy clockwork reanimations.

We got to read a lot of Investigator Vale novels, too. At least the ends of them, because they're not putting entire novels in the game, just a few pages. Investigator Vale is a private detective whose cases seem to involve a lot of Holmesian / Miss Marple deduction and also a LOT of sleeping with people. Like, the archetype Investigator Vale setup seems to be that she stumbles out of a tryst, pauses long enough to explain the crime and then goes back to finding someone to sleep with.

I'm not kidding. Have a look at "The Locked Room Murder" or "Fowl Play". Investigator Vale is my idol and I would buy every one of her books.

Wrothgar being its own little standalone DLC area, we were finished with it pretty briskly. That said, the royal palace is of course a very profitable place to creep around and steal knick-knacks from. We also didn't really touch any of the 'group' content. The public dungeons we could duo through, but world bosses? Hell no. Those kick our ass.

For the most part, though, I feel like we just completed a small Elder Scrolls game in two-player mode and that was great fun. There's still tons more content left over, too, with a whole "Clockwork City" module releasing soon. Expect to hear more about this game later.

Broken sleep

Oct. 12th, 2017 07:10 pm
archangelbeth: Bleach's Captain Byakuya, three-quarters view. Captioned: sigh (Sigh)
[personal profile] archangelbeth
1: I think my mom's text came in... belatedly. Like, 8am instead of last night. That better be the case, because there is NO circumstance in which I want a non-emergency text at 8 in the flippin' morning.

Especially after getting to bed at, you guessed it, around 4am. Or maybe 3. Still an ungodly time.

But there was the kid having a wake-up-and-need person, and then the PING PING of my phone with the random text, and then somewhere in there the automated pharmacy call happened (yay, pills), and after that the spouse's alarm went off so he could go get food for kid, and eventually I had to get up and eat something because of a school meeting.

And then home and some walking and off to the other appointment (with a stop for snack at a Wendy's), and dinner, and now I'm finally back and at least caffeinated enough that I'm not having to hold my eyes very big and open to keep them from closing.

I need to finish my walking-circle on my watch.

Edit: Just uploaded this.

Havva Quote
I began to feel as if I was in a poultry themed Greek tragedy. You know how what makes a tragedy is that you can see the character flaws leading inevitably to the end? Well, Kevin is basically a heavily-tattooed Francis of Assisi and by now he was sitting out on the deck in the morning, tossing layer pellets (I got something healthier than birdseed) to Strong Independent Chicken and greeting her as "Sweetie" when he drove up in the truck.
(Yes, recycling some of her tweets.)

INwatch+Bookwatch )

Dragons under fold )

Fixing My Broken Give-A-Damn

Oct. 12th, 2017 10:21 am
the_gneech: (Default)
[personal profile] the_gneech
Sorry, My Give-A-Damn is Broken
So the thing with the rebel tendency, at least for me, is that I am motivated by desire. That is to say, I have to want something in order to make it happen– which is why grief and depression are my kryptonite. Depression makes it hard to take pleasure in anything, and grief makes it hard to be willing to engage in things you like because you don't want to risk facing the pain of loss again.

But I can't just spend my life wandering an emotional wasteland like Hipster Percival. Besides the fact that we live in a pay-to-play society, there's a more primal factor in that I need to be creating in order to be happy. But attempting to create when my heart isn't in it, true to rebel nature, is just an exercise in frustration and resistance.

This creates a kind of feedback loop– I have to be happy enough to get excited about what I want to create, in order to do the creating that will make me happy.

It's kinda like a fusion reaction: once the cycle is up and running, it's nicely self-sustaining, but if something comes along and stops it (or it runs out of fuel), it takes a vast amount of external energy to get it started back up again.

Which is roughly where I am emotionally at the moment. I need to restart my emotional pilot light– what I refer to as my Give-A-Damn. When you hear about artists wailing to the muses for inspiration, same deal. Some writers sneer at this notion, saying that "real writers write whether they feel like it or not." I would argue that those writers have probably never had to really deal with a broken Give-A-Damn, and have no idea how debilitating it actually is.

(They may also be hacks; but that varies wildly from writer to writer.)

There is some truth to the adage that once you start moving, the energy and enthusiasm will come, but it isn't an absolute. Sometimes "shut up and write" works, sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes, a mental vacation is what's needed. Other times, you need to actually get inspiration from a new experience or from some great piece of work that's new to you.

So far, my Give-A-Damn has been very stubborn about not letting itself be fixed– but I am more stubborn than it is.

-The Gneech

Long drive day - I stayed home.

Oct. 11th, 2017 10:33 pm
archangelbeth: A dandilion puff, seeds being blown off in the wind. Above, the title: "Dreamwidth." (Dreamwidth Dandilion)
[personal profile] archangelbeth
And did NOTHING PRODUCTIVE. Which is kind of annoying but at least I had some time to just putter around being unproductive without anyone near me. Hashtag Introvert.

I think when I finish uploading (to AO3) the SSO Prologue "logs," I will maybe pull out Queen of Lilies and just make sure that it's at least got an off-site backup on DW, in a filter.

(Earlier, we walked. It is tricky to pick up the fallen pears now because WASPS FOUND THEM. Who knew such a tiny pear could hold THREE WASPS? Ugh.)

Still no pounding on house, which is mixed, because while it would be nice to have progress, I have not gotten to bed before 4am for ages now. Plus hoping that our contractor is not having medical issues. Plus I would like to put my car in the garage again someday! Before it snows!

Havva Quote
When it's all over, the words that you dragged out one at a time in tedium read exactly the same as the ones made of white hot inspiration.

(This is true. Though I remember at least one white-hot inspiration, and gods but I wish I could do that more.)

INwatch+Bookwatch )

Dragons under fold )

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