rowyn: (sledgehammer)
The biggest downside of replacing my waterbed mattress with a foam one is that I'm no longer sleeping on a giant hot water bottle in the winter. My bedroom isn't well-insulated and gets much colder than the rest of the house if the door isn't left open. So I've taken to leaving it open at night.

The disadvantage to that is my cat. I give her half a can of cat food twice a day: around 7AM and around 7PM. She also has dry food if she gets hungry in between.

At around 5AM, if the bedroom door is open, she will come in and meow at me: "feed me!"

Then I will get out of bed and go into the kitchen. My cat will follow me into the kitchen, and then run on ahead into the extention where I usually feed her.

Then I close the door between the kitchen and the extention, leaving her in the extention, without feeding her. And go back to bed for a couple of hours.

I keep thinking that either (a) she will learn not to wake me or (b) she will learn not to go into the extention until I actually feed her. So far, she has shown no signs of doing so.

I could lock her in the extention before I go to bed and forestall this whole thing, but she's often hard to locate late in the evening anyway. And she always goes into the extention unprompted in the morning. So. It works. At least until she works out (a) or (b).

Ash

Sep. 7th, 2011 05:37 pm
rowyn: (current)

She's gone.

She became unresponsive over the course of the day.  Lut called me at 4:30 to say she was convulsing.  We took her to vet.  She was comatose in my arms, eyes open, nothing there.  The vet said that this was it, there was nothing left to do for her.  They put her to sleep while I petted her.  I don't think she ever knew I was there.

I'd thought about staying home today because of her.  I wish I had.  Not that it would change anything.

Thank you to everyone who commented on my last post.  I appreciate the sympathy.

Goodbye, Ash, my beloved lapkitty.  I'll miss you always.







Posted via LiveJournal app for Android.

Almost Done

Sep. 7th, 2011 11:28 am
rowyn: (downcast)


I think Ash is going to die soon.

Just a couple of days ago, I was thinking that she seemed stable. In very poor health, but ... stable. She was incontinent and she stopped drinking weeks ago (we've been giving her subdermal fluids daily for seven or eight weeks). But she would still move around -- turning in circles, falling over frequently, but she could get from the den to the kitchen and back again. She would eat, or try to, shoving her face into her food and lifting her head out of it and working her tongue in an effort to get some of it to slide down her throat.

Sometime yesterday, she stopped.

I gave her a bath yesterday, as I've been doing about weekly for the last three or four.  I think I knew even then. She was so week. She'd fall onto her side and not even try to get up.  She hasn't tried to eat since last night.  This morning, a few minutes after I put her down by her food bowl in vain hope, I found her lying on the floor, unmoving, in a puddle of urine.

She doesn't purr when I hold her.

One of my friends -- whose cat is also dying, horribly, of cancer, who he's putting to sleep today and he tried to call me last night but I didn't get the message and now it's too late for me to say goodbye to that cat, too -- my friend said to me a couple of weeks ago that there's a spark inside every living thing that makes them who they are. 'You can keep the biological process going after that spark goes out, but they're still gone.'

I am afraid that Ash's spark is already gone. That she may not die today, but I will never hear her purr again.

I held her this morning, after cleaning her up, my face screwed up and crying not because I cared about cleaning up after her but because I don't want her to die.  I'm not ready, I thought, and imagined Ash complaining, I've given you two and a half years to get ready.  When will you be?

Never, I guess.

I don't know exactly why I'm writing this down.  To get it out of my head, so I can stop thinking about it, maybe.

I keep wondering if I've done too much, fought too hard to keep her alive instead of letting her go.  Or if I haven't done enough, if I should have taken her to that neurologist veterinarian, if there was something he could have done. 

I love you, Ash. I hope you're still alive when I get home.  I hope you get to pass away peacefully in my arms.  There doesn't seem much else left to hope for, now.






















Posted via LiveJournal app for Android.

rowyn: (tired)
Last Friday, my older cat, Ash, suffered from partial kidney failure. Lut took her to the vet immediately, and the vet gave her various injections and told us to feed her a special prescription cat food for cats with kidney problems. This means feeding Ash and Kali separately: I lock Ash in he bathroom to give her diet cat food while I feed Kali in the same place she's always eaten, on the same canned catfood she's been eating for the last two years.

Ash has had no problems on the new diet. She will eat it contentedly given the opportunity, she will eat the regular canned cat food with the same contentment. She is not fussy.

Kali, on the other hand ...

Kali is convinced that we are feeding Ash the Special Magical Turkish Delight Cat Food of Deliciousness, while Kali is being left with nothing fit for feline consumption. I put Kali's food down first, then carry Ash into the bathroom -- where Kali will be waiting, having taken one whiff of her food and decided she needs to run ahead so she can try to steal Ash's. I then put down Ash, pick up Kali, and put down Ash's food while carrying a madly scheming Kali off with me.

On Sunday, Kali dragged a chunk of canned catfood into the middle of the kitchen floor and left it there until I came in. When she saw I was staring at it, she walked over to the lump and made the same kind of scratching motions against the floor surrounding it that she usually reserves for bodily waste. This morning, she spurned the food I put out for her entirely.

I still have the remnants of the bag of dry cat food from which I used to feed them (yes, I never clean out my pantry). So I set some of that out with tonight's spurned canned catfood.

Kali crunched away on that, because apparently two-year-old-stale dry cat food is better than refrigerated leftover canned from this morning. Then she carried a chunk of catfood into the living room dropped it on the carpet, and then started eating it. Obviously the carpet flavor makes it taste better. She's going to have to learn to like it again somehow, because I am definitely not spending four times as much on prescription canned catfood for a cat who is perfectly healthy.

Physically. Mentally ... let's not go there.

Ash

Jan. 21st, 2009 07:07 pm
rowyn: (worried)
My cat is sick.

I took her to the vet on Saturday because she was having urinary troubles, trying to urinate every few minutes. They kept her over the weekend so they could get urine, stool and blood samples. On Monday they told me she had a urinary tract infection, and a blood infection, and tapeworms. They wormed her and gave me an antibiotic for the infections. I took her home. She was obviously better, looking so healthy I realized that I hadn't seen her really healthy in a long while.

Yesterday evening, she seemed a little worse, a little unsteady sometimes when she walked.

Tonight, when Trask got home, she couldn't walk. She just squirmed in circles, crawling to the right. Trask called me, and put her in the car and drove to meet me at work while I called to find an emergency animal clinic.

The clinic can't tell what's wrong with her. The easy things to check are all ruled out. They'd need to do an MRI or a CAT scan. The possibilities are an inner ear inflammation or disorder, a tumor, or cancer. The vet didn't recommend an MRI yet, probably because they're so expensive, and the treatment for what they would find is even more expensive. He didn't say that, though.

He gave her a shot of cortisone in case it's an inflammation issue, and a new antibiotic even though he really doubted it was a reaction to the antibiotic. And told me to take her home and watch her for a week, to see if she gets better.

She was an adult cat when I got her, twelve years ago.

I'm not ready to lose her yet.

Is it okay to pray for a cat?

Please get better, Ash.
rowyn: (determined)
I've been on a cleaning binge this week. [livejournal.com profile] telnar came to visit last weekend, and we had a lot of fun. The hotel across the street from my house built an attached indoor waterpark. Telnar was staying at the hotel and we spent most of Saturday at the waterpark.

Because it's indoors, it's very small. It is, both despite and because of this, very nice. "Despite": there's not a lot of room for the big rides I'm used to in an amusement park. "Because": since it's small, there aren't the long walks between rides that I'm also used to.

The park has two long tube-slides and one long person-flume. These three are about equivalent to typical outdoor waterpark slides: they're four stories high and twisty. They also have a "river ride", where you hop in a tube and float in a long circle. One nice feature of the tube slides: they end in a pool that connects to the river ride, so you can either get out and do the slides again, or coast into the river and continue on its circuit.

There's also a section in the center, surrounded by the river ride, that's mostly for children, but has three more slides long enough to be fun for me. In the center section are several fixed-mount water guns that customers can use to shoot people lower down. Mostly the guns get targeted on people floating by on the river ride.

Lastly, they had a wading pool, a four-foot deep swimming pool, and a ginormous multi-section hot tub that was bisected by the outer wall, so that most of it was outside and part of it was inside. The outside hot tub was ringed by deck chairs, so you could lay out in the sun if you wanted.

The park had little in the way of concessions: one combined Pizza Hut/A&W shop, and a bar. The bar area had way more table space then they could possibly need, so far as I could tell. Officially, the waterpark rules prohibited bringing your own food or drink, but the attendant didn't say anything about the diet Coke I carried in.

Even on a Saturday, there weren't enough people to give the "overcrowded" feel I'm used to from amusement parks. There were plenty of people around, but not enough to form significant lines. Usually on the four-story slides, we had to wait for one pair ahead of us to go down and clear the pool. The longest waits were never more than a few minutes, and rides like the river had no wait at all: you just hopped into a tube and went 'round for as long as you liked. Since the rides were all so close together, there was little time spent walking from one to the next. So the ratio of time spent on the fun things vs time spent getting to the fun things was excellent. Overall, very happy with the place. I need to find out if they sell season passes. They make good neighbors, too: Lut was worried about noise or traffic from the park when we first found out it was going up, but as it turns out it hasn't been an issue. They're small and indoors and quiet from the outside.

The park wore me out, in fact -- probably all those trips up the four flights of stairs to the slides. We spent an hour or two lazing around in the hot tub.

We also took a break in the middle of the day to eat lunch and play a game of Titan. We played Titan again on Sunday, and also a game of RoboRally that Lut joined in on. Altogether a good weekend and rather a busy one.

Normal people clean before a guest arrives, so the house will look nice for company. I didn't clean for Telnar, who is notoriously oblivious to the cleanliness or lack thereof in a domicile. Not that he's a slob: he generally keeps his things organized. But he wouldn't really notice if I did or not.

But he did leave the toilet seat up, and every time he did I was forcibly reminded of just how disgusting the toilet was. I mean, I already knew that it was bad, but with the seat down it was partly disguised. With it up, the full grotesque glory of it jumped out at me.

This led directly to many of the purchases I made at Linens & Things on Sunday evening, and from thence to
Too Much Cleaning )

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