I Fail at Life

[rowyn]

"Hi. I need to lower the difficulty level on my life."

The field analyst looks at me. "What? I'm sorry, ma'am, 'White Middle-Class Westerner' is the lowest setting we've got."

"What do you mean?" I whine. "This mission is kicking my butt. There's gotta be an easier level. Can't I get 'born rich' or something?"

"You *were* born rich. Your parents are in the top 5% of the world income bracket. Just like, oh, about a third of the population of your country."

"Oh."

"In fact, *you* are in the top 5% of the global income bracket," he adds, checking a little further on his list.

"Dammit. Why don't I feel rich?"

"No comment." The field analyst reviews his charts again. "You could re-roll as 'male', I guess. Some people say it's easier."

"Uh ... no, I don't think that'd help. The whole female thing is kinda working for me. Isn't there anything you *can* do for me?" I plead. "Maybe an easier time period?"

"What do you want? Dark Ages? Classical? Renaissance? You did say you wanted to keep the 'female' setting, didn't you?"

"Um, yeah. I was thinking maybe 'future'?"

"Sorry, early 21st century is as late as we've gotten."

"This game sucks," I whinge.

The field analyst is still reviewing my records. "What's your problem, anyway? You're 37, you're halfway through already! You've got a house and a job and retirement accounts and, geez, two boyfriends (no wonder you don't want to reroll as male). C'mon, it can't be that bad."

"But I don't wanna do my day job anymore."

"You could do the respec trial."

"But it's so haaaaaard. And what if I don't like my next pick either? I mean, I didn't do so hot the first time."

"Right." He rolls his eyes at me. "Look, we've got a zillion mini-games online, why don't you go back to playing them? I got some people from Darfur waiting to lower their difficulty so if we're done here .... "

"Yeah yeah yeah .... " I grumble and wander back to the seemingly endless mission that's making me nuts.

Stupid game devs. I bet they never even play their own game.

Comments

[tuftears.livejournal.com]

They nerfed the United States! Japan is totally imba now, and what's up with buffing the European commonwealth? They don't need buffs, the States are hurting big time here, we need some help out here! Every time we go into WSG, we get hamstringed and economically snared a hundred ways from Sunday.

[terrycloth.livejournal.com]

Yeah, but you look at what the devs are focusing their time on, and it's all about PvP.

[octantis.livejournal.com]

Meanwhile, nobody noticed China farming gold for the past 20 years or so, and now we're all OMGWTF hax.

[koogrr.livejournal.com]

Did it have to be hardcore PVP?

The respawn is atrocious and there's so much camping.

[rowyn]

Yeah, what's up with *that*? Everyone knows co-op play is totally where it's at nowadays.