I Fail at Life
Mar. 5th, 2008 10:10 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
rowyn"Hi. I need to lower the difficulty level on my life."
The field analyst looks at me. "What? I'm sorry, ma'am, 'White Middle-Class Westerner' is the lowest setting we've got."
"What do you mean?" I whine. "This mission is kicking my butt. There's gotta be an easier level. Can't I get 'born rich' or something?"
"You *were* born rich. Your parents are in the top 5% of the world income bracket. Just like, oh, about a third of the population of your country."
"Oh."
"In fact, *you* are in the top 5% of the global income bracket," he adds, checking a little further on his list.
"Dammit. Why don't I feel rich?"
"No comment." The field analyst reviews his charts again. "You could re-roll as 'male', I guess. Some people say it's easier."
"Uh ... no, I don't think that'd help. The whole female thing is kinda working for me. Isn't there anything you *can* do for me?" I plead. "Maybe an easier time period?"
"What do you want? Dark Ages? Classical? Renaissance? You did say you wanted to keep the 'female' setting, didn't you?"
"Um, yeah. I was thinking maybe 'future'?"
"Sorry, early 21st century is as late as we've gotten."
"This game sucks," I whinge.
The field analyst is still reviewing my records. "What's your problem, anyway? You're 37, you're halfway through already! You've got a house and a job and retirement accounts and, geez, two boyfriends (no wonder you don't want to reroll as male). C'mon, it can't be that bad."
"But I don't wanna do my day job anymore."
"You could do the respec trial."
"But it's so haaaaaard. And what if I don't like my next pick either? I mean, I didn't do so hot the first time."
"Right." He rolls his eyes at me. "Look, we've got a zillion mini-games online, why don't you go back to playing them? I got some people from Darfur waiting to lower their difficulty so if we're done here .... "
"Yeah yeah yeah .... " I grumble and wander back to the seemingly endless mission that's making me nuts.
Stupid game devs. I bet they never even play their own game.
The field analyst looks at me. "What? I'm sorry, ma'am, 'White Middle-Class Westerner' is the lowest setting we've got."
"What do you mean?" I whine. "This mission is kicking my butt. There's gotta be an easier level. Can't I get 'born rich' or something?"
"You *were* born rich. Your parents are in the top 5% of the world income bracket. Just like, oh, about a third of the population of your country."
"Oh."
"In fact, *you* are in the top 5% of the global income bracket," he adds, checking a little further on his list.
"Dammit. Why don't I feel rich?"
"No comment." The field analyst reviews his charts again. "You could re-roll as 'male', I guess. Some people say it's easier."
"Uh ... no, I don't think that'd help. The whole female thing is kinda working for me. Isn't there anything you *can* do for me?" I plead. "Maybe an easier time period?"
"What do you want? Dark Ages? Classical? Renaissance? You did say you wanted to keep the 'female' setting, didn't you?"
"Um, yeah. I was thinking maybe 'future'?"
"Sorry, early 21st century is as late as we've gotten."
"This game sucks," I whinge.
The field analyst is still reviewing my records. "What's your problem, anyway? You're 37, you're halfway through already! You've got a house and a job and retirement accounts and, geez, two boyfriends (no wonder you don't want to reroll as male). C'mon, it can't be that bad."
"But I don't wanna do my day job anymore."
"You could do the respec trial."
"But it's so haaaaaard. And what if I don't like my next pick either? I mean, I didn't do so hot the first time."
"Right." He rolls his eyes at me. "Look, we've got a zillion mini-games online, why don't you go back to playing them? I got some people from Darfur waiting to lower their difficulty so if we're done here .... "
"Yeah yeah yeah .... " I grumble and wander back to the seemingly endless mission that's making me nuts.
Stupid game devs. I bet they never even play their own game.
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no subject
Date: 2008-03-05 04:52 pm (UTC)Though not in so many words, G. K. Chesterton basically opines (in Orthodoxy) that this is why he became a Christian: It was the only
religiongame in which the game dev conceded to play his own game.no subject
Date: 2008-03-05 05:13 pm (UTC)But Old Man Thompson annoyed even the Jesuits, and with his continual evocation of Chesterton-this and Chesterton-that plus OMT's offensive teaching style, his lingering hated presence eclipsed G.K. for decades for me.
no subject
Date: 2008-03-05 05:28 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-03-05 05:43 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-03-05 05:52 pm (UTC)<3