Coming Out, Part Two

[rowyn]

The last thing I came out about went a lot better than I expected it to. Maybe this one will, too. A lot more people already know it, at least.

Lt.Warhound and I have an open relationship. We always have, for the last eight years of our relationship. Longer, if you count the time when our FurryMUCK characters were in an open relationship online.*

The irony here is that one of the advantages to being in an open relationship is that if you get into another relationship, you don't have to hide it. Lut doesn't mind, so I don't need to keep it secret from him. And he's the only one whose opinion matters, right?

Except that I didn't want to tell people I was in an open relationship with Lut. So I've wound up hiding things anyway.

Getting pretty tired of hiding stuff. Some people are good at keeping secrets, but I'm not. Not good at hiding my feelings, anyway. Sometimes I wish I was, but I'm 34 and if I haven't figured it out yet, I doubt I ever will.

I used to tell myself, "It's nobody else's business, anyway." I suppose that's true. But the reason I didn't tell anyone isn't that I wanted privacy, but that I was afraid of what people would think. Of what my friends would think. Oh, I still want a little privacy, which is why I'm not going into many details of what sorts of other relationships Lut or I have had over the last eight years.**

But I am going to say this:

I love ltwarhound.

And I love koogrr.

And I am very happy that I am in the kind of relationship with both of them where that's OK.

* This fact is one of the reasons I don't call myself a Christian; one of those 'but I strongly disagree with this teaching' things that kept me from believing in Christ at all for so long. I do believe in Christ as Savior, but I know that some of my other beliefs are so wildly different from most Christians that I don't want to co-opt their label.

** Not very many. Trust me, we're not exciting swinger types.

Comments

[octantis.livejournal.com]

I guess I must be the only one who's surprised! Wow, this was kind of out of left field for me, but maybe it's a sign I should be paying more attention to my friends than I do. I guess I could tell you were very close to Koogrr, but it's kind of like... you have so much love for people in general, I didn't think about it much.

Well, I see no reason to judge you about this either. You're all rational adults and seem comfortable with it. One of my best friends has a husband and a wife and it seems to work out well. Only possible thing I could think of to say about it is that it seems like something that not everyone would be able to make work. But if you can, and have no regrets, more power!

[rowyn]

I guess I could tell you were very close to Koogrr, but it's kind of like... you have so much love for people in general, I didn't think about it much.

That's a good thing! I do have a lot of close and cuddly friendships that are just that -- friendships. One of the reasons I didn't want to say anything about being in an open relationship is that I'm afraid people will start assigning ulterior motives to many perfectly platonic gestures on my part. :/ Anyway, I think it speaks well of you that you didn't. :)

[koogrr.livejournal.com]

Actually, I was really incredibly surprised. After many years of misinterpreting signs, both on and offline, I have become skilled at rationalizing away signs of interest and utterly was not expecting it, not even a cuddly friendship. It was like being hit by a truck, in the best possible way.