Wrong Number

[rowyn]

On my walk home from work, my cellphone did not ring, because I hate it when phones ring so I don't let mine do that. It did however light up and give me the option of answering a call from an 866 number that neither my phone nor I recognized.

Me: Hello?
Unknown caller: ...
Me: Hello?
Unknown caller: ...
Me: [about to hang up] Hello?
Unknown caller: Hello, this is the US Census Bureau. Have I reached Wade Williams Smith Manly Williams Mary Smith Williams or Wade William Williams Mary Smith?
Me: No. This is Rowyn. You have the wrong number.
US Census Bureau: [checks script] All right, ma'am, do you live at 8959 E 50th St?
Me: No.
US Census Bureau: Ma'am, I'm calling from the US Census Bureau to ensure that we have the most accurate census possible.
Me: I already filled mine out. You have the wrong number.
US Census Bureau: All right, ma'am, just to confirm, I have reached Wade Williams Smith Manly Williams Mary Smith Williams or Wade William Williams Mary Smith?
Me: ... no, you haven't.
US Census Bureau: [checks script again] ... Do you live at 8959 E 50th St?
Me: No. I'm Rowyn and I live in Emerald City.*
US Census Bureau: Is it possible that this is an alternate address where Wade Williams Smith Manly Williams Mary Smith Williams or Wade William Williams Mary Smith can be reached?
Me: No. Look, I would love to help you but I (a) am not any of those people (b) do not live at the address you are looking for (c) do not know anything about any of the names you mentioned nor indeed can I even tell how many different people that was supposed to be and (d) already completed my census and (e) You have the wrong number.
US Census Bureau: [checks script for a long moment again] I see. Thank you for your time, ma'am.
Me: Bye!

O.o

Does the US Census Bureau script really involve repeating the questions if the answer is "no", beetiger, or was this agent just stuck in the wrong part of the script?

* Yes, I gave my real name and address here.

Comments

[pyat.livejournal.com]

* Yes, I gave my real name and address here.

Huh. You must know my good friend Wade Williams Smith Manly Williams Mary Smith Williams! We call him Wade William Williams Mary Smith for short.

[rowyn]

Somehow we have not met! You must introduce us sometime.

[level-head.livejournal.com]

Oho! The founder of William & Mary & Williams and Smith, the Manly College!

The census folks are ... not necessarily selected for intelligence. Some of them are intelligent, of course, but I've encountered a couple where (as the old expression goes) if brains were dynamite, they couldn't blow their noses.

Of course, this could have been a clever person collecting names and addresses to sell...

===|==============/ Level Head

[terrycloth.livejournal.com]

If they have to follow a script they might just be following a stupid part of the script regardless of their personal level of intelligence.

And if you ignore the part where he (or the script) isn't reacting to the extra information Rowyn's giving, it's not really *that* stupid. Just asking twice.

[level-head.livejournal.com]

*chuckle*

And if I ignore the part where he said anything at all, I could say he was brilliant!

I've run telephone operations -- inbound; outbound is not to my taste -- and written quite a few such scripts. Some folks are not able to react well when something goes in an unexpected direction, and the results can be anywhere from amusing to frustrating to just weird.

Just today, I was on the phone to a variety of different departments at a bank, and their own script-driven process was quite evident.

Telemarketing and similar work tends to catch a broad spectrum of people, including some shining stars. But I think the star on the Lady Rowyn's cellphone was shooting -- and missing.

===|==============/ Level Head

[rowyn]

Yeah, I kept wondering if the caller just wasn't paying attention or was under orders to follow the script NO MATTER WHAT! NO DEVIATIONS! *whipcrack*

[rowyn]

Wouldn't a really clever person have used a phone book instead? :) Wait, did they stop making phone books?

[octantis.livejournal.com]

Heheh. Well, they sure were thorough, and I guess thoroughness counts when it comes to census.

[rowyn]

I think the Census is cool, and the one they did for this decade was short & simple which was also good. I exist! Yes, I want the government to know. :)

[skyflame.livejournal.com]

The census workers have to be... overly persisent. It's engrained in the training. (Sara works for the Census. I hear about it all the time.)

[the-vulture.livejournal.com]

* Yes, I gave my real name and address here.

Myself? I'd be highly hesitant about giving my info to anyone who solicited me: an identity thief posing as a census taker is not beyond my paranoid imaginings.

[rowyn]

I own a house; my name and address are a matter of public record. Also, the caller didn't technically solicit the information: the caller was asking me "Are you X?" and "Do you live at X?" and never "Who are you?" or "Where do you live?" So if this person was trying to get information, it was in a highly roundabout and ineffectual way, and I can think of easier ways to harvest names and addresses than calling random numbers, pretending to be census workers, and hoping the person on the other end will volunteer what you want. O.o

[the-vulture.livejournal.com]

Okay, fair enough. :)

[rowyn]

It's a good point in general, though. There are a bunch of Census-posing scammers out there in the US right now, and if a supposed Census-taker asked me for my SSN, it'd be very suspicious. And I'm not sure I'd've been that paranoid if the caller had, so it's something for me to remember in the future. :)

[the-vulture.livejournal.com]

Well, you know what they say, just because you think everyone is out to get you, doesn't mean they're not. :p

[sandramort.livejournal.com]

Proud mama moment that I *had* to share: http://sandramort.livejournal.com/2314746.html

Also, for the record, Eva is getting more and more like you when she rp's, it's adorable. She loves to do all of those accents you used to do. Some people are proud when their kids go to boy scouts, I am proud when they're gaming. Each to her own ;)

[rowyn]

I feel like I should apologize, but oh you mean she's like me in a *good* way. :D I'm glad the kids had a good time with it!

[(Anonymous)]

It still drives me nuts, but I DO mean it in a good way. You threw yourself into it 100% and enjoyed every minute and so is she. So I can just take my twitchiness and squelch it and enjoy the process with her. If that makes any sense? Besides, I'm not in the game, so I can always tune it out if it's too much.

[gavinfox.livejournal.com]

Hmmmm, that particular script wasn't one I know of... not sure which operation that was supposed to be... or what their script looks like!