External Validation

[rowyn]

"External validation" is one of those psychology buzzwords. It's bad to be dependent on external validation. One should feel successful based on what one has done, not on the approval of others. One can't count on external sources for positive feedback. Belief and faith in oneself has to come from within. Love yourself.

...

Except that independence can also go too far. Humans are social animals; we don't function well without the support of others. The foundations of society depend on us caring about the opinions of others: it's one of the main forces that gets us to correct our mistakes. That helps us recognize when we have made a mistake.

There is no bright line, I suppose, between narcissism and neediness, between caring too much and not caring enough. Just one more thing where moderation works better than either extreme.

Comments

[terrycloth.livejournal.com]

I really think it's one more thing where a combined arms approach is useful. You want some people to be trying the weird stuff no matter what people say about them, and other people paying attention to criticism to a reasonable degree, and other other people doing desperate attention-grabbing stunts.

Those are all exceptions, though -- for most people it doesn't really matter which strategy you follow.

[the-vulture.livejournal.com]

Ya know, no matter how much pride we take in our work and satisfaction at a job well done, it's still is nice to have our egoes stroked now and then. *grin*

[level-head.livejournal.com]

A wise and thoughtful post, in my opinion.

I think that one issue that many face is the internal argument between the internal and external forms:

"He says I'm really good at this.

But I'm not!"

Losing that argument -- in both senses of the word -- would be a good thing.

===|==============/ Level Head