Writing Exercise: Bad descriptions

level_head said to me that my "writing badly" exercises so far have all been well-written, and accordingly, he was not convinced that writing badly was something I was even capable of. I'm doing these exercises all wrong! *cries* ;_;

And this is my last chance! So I'm going to do my very best ... er ... very worst on this one. The genre is "badly written @descs".
( No, really, I'm trying to write BADLY here. Not funny. BAD. Don't say I didn't warn you! )

Writing Exercises: Lists

The next section, I'm afraid, promises to be boring but easy. It's just lists of stuff. Big blocks of noun and adjectives. So I won't blame any of you for not clicking.
( And for the masochists among you -- click! )