Lut Health Update: Diagnosis

[rowyn]

Thank you, everyone, for your well-wishes. ♥

Lut's biopsy results came back yesterday and confirmed multiple myeloma. His oncologist started him on an antiviral yesterday, and today he stars chemotherapy and a steroid. The oncologist thinks that this has a good chance (70%+) of improving his situation, including his mental state.

His mental state has crumbled almost completely. He still knows who he is, and who I am, and that's about it. He's paranoid and delusional, and generally angry at everyone around him for holding him captive while we try to get him healthy enough to return to reality. x_x

The oncologist said it would be 6-9 weeks before we know if the chemotherapy is working. His nurse yesterday thought the steroids might have a beneficial effect on his mental state in the short term, like the next few days.

I hope so, because he's only gotten worse so far.

I looked through his gmail and found email addresses for three of his siblings, from 2009. I tried emailing them this morning to let them know. One of the addresses bounced. I don't know if the others are still active or not.

I have a rental car for a month. I think I should probably buy a car. I am not ready to face doing that yet, and I kind of need to.

In theory, he qualifies for Medicaid and disability, especially since we're not married. Since we're not married, I can't sign documents for him. He is neither lucid enough nor tractable enough to sign documents himself. I haven't figured out how I am supposed to get around this yet. I will talk to the hospital staff today and see if they know. The application form wants a bunch of medical specifics that I don't have anyway.

Comments

[eimarra]

{{hugs}} You're in my thoughts.

[tuftears]

*hugs* I think you're doing the right thing, hopefully the treatments will take effect sooner rather than later! Also hopefully his siblings will pick up, maybe a next of kin can do the next-best-thing and act as a guardian to approve medical care.

[catofalltrades]

*hugs* sending love and good vibes.

[tagryn]

R, you might want to also ask to speak to someone in the hospital's patient advocate office. They're normally there to act as an ombudsman for complaints, but can often also be a resource to help guide through the paperwork tsunami that is modern health care today.

We went through something a little bit similar with my father-in-law when he was in the hospital after his fall re: altered mental state. Needless to say, its very, very hard since it's such a sudden shift in a loved one to being a person that's so different as well as being just more unpleasant overall. The oncologist sounds hopeful this will pass in order as the treatments kick in, that's good news.

I hope I'm not overstepping bounds by just observing that this is naturally very stressful on you as well, and it might be useful for you to note this and be mindful to do as much self-care as you're able to re: eating, sleeping, etc. so that you can continue to be an advocate for him.

You're doing a great job in a very difficult situation.

[archangelbeth]

*hugs* If there's anything I can do from way over here...

[nekomavin]

I hope things improve soon.

Is there anything like a favourite blanket or plush that Lut might be able to hold on to when you're not there?

[danceswithlife]

Another possible resource is one of the hospital social workers. They often know the ins and outs of applying for Medicaid and disability, as well as how to manage medical decisions for someone unable presently to make them. My continued prayers. And I've been a medical claims examiner for private insurance all my adult life. If I can help you with anything regarding that let me know.