Fair enough. I was mostly toying with alinsa's idea of a "pseudo-erotic" version and cut it so the flow was a bit less bumpy. It would require a bit of rewriting to do a polished, veiled, "and additional sexual activity happened off-camera" version.
Hmmm, I was thinking of something like this for the veiling between parts 13 and 15: < excerpt > After a few moments, Justin relented, shifting his weight enough that Nik was no longer trapped against the door, leaning back to watch Nik’s face, a small satisfied smile on his own. Nik dipped forward to brush his lips against Justin’s again. “My lord,” Nik whispered against his mouth, “how I’ve missed you.”
Justin laughed, letting his hands slide down Nik’s bare chest in an intimate caress, then grinned and turned away to start up the stairs. Partway up, he glanced back over his shoulder, then crooked a finger to Nik, beckoning.
As helpless as one enspelled, Nik followed. Afterwards, as Nikola lay spent and half-dozing in Justin’s broad bed, Justin extricated himself from the tangled sheets and withdrew to the washroom to clean up. He returned a few minutes later, wrapped in a long silk dressing gown, and tossed Nikola a soapy washcloth and a dry towel, balancing a half-full basin on the bed. Nikola cleaned himself off. “Tidy as always.” He held out his arms in a silent plea. < /excerpt >
Maybe if I apply that technique here, something like this would work better?: < excerpt > Justin batted it away, seizing Nikola’s wrist. “Ha! Not so old and feeble that I cannot teach an impudent scamp a lesson or three,” Justin growled in mock anger. He shifted to the side and flipped Nikola onto his stomach, twisting the young man’s arm behind his back to pin him face down against the mattress, muffling Nikola’s laughter. “Laugh at me, will you?” He swatted Nikola’s backside with his free hand, and received a muted yelp for his attentions. He slapped the firm flesh again, before his fingers curved to grope instead. Still holding Nikola’s arm to keep him from squirming, Justin moved to spread Nik’s legs with one knee, then knelt behind him, pushing the dressing gown open. After climax, Justin collapsed against his lover. He pressed little kisses against Nikola’s cheek, ear, nape, shoulders, hugging him hard as Nikola snuggled in, content. Justin rolled onto his side, pulling Nikola close, and ran one hand down his chest. Nikola caught Justin’s hand before he reached between his legs, wrapping Justin’s arm over his chest in a clear signal that he’d had sufficient attention already. Justin pressed his cheek against Nikola’s shoulder, closing his eyes and breathing. I love you. Don’t leave me. < /excerpt >
Anyway, I'm mostly indulging my preference for off-camera sex in fiction with these experimental versions, so, if you could not take them as a personal affront, I'd be much obliged.
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2015-06-18 02:33 am (UTC)Hmmm, I was thinking of something like this for the veiling between parts 13 and 15:
< excerpt >
After a few moments, Justin relented, shifting his weight enough that Nik was no longer trapped against the door, leaning back to watch Nik’s face, a small satisfied smile on his own. Nik dipped forward to brush his lips against Justin’s again. “My lord,” Nik whispered against his mouth, “how I’ve missed you.”
Justin laughed, letting his hands slide down Nik’s bare chest in an intimate caress, then grinned and turned away to start up the stairs. Partway up, he glanced back over his shoulder, then crooked a finger to Nik, beckoning.
As helpless as one enspelled, Nik followed.
Afterwards, as Nikola lay spent and half-dozing in Justin’s broad bed, Justin extricated himself from the tangled sheets and withdrew to the washroom to clean up. He returned a few minutes later, wrapped in a long silk dressing gown, and tossed Nikola a soapy washcloth and a dry towel, balancing a half-full basin on the bed. Nikola cleaned himself off. “Tidy as always.” He held out his arms in a silent plea.
< /excerpt >
Maybe if I apply that technique here, something like this would work better?:
< excerpt >
Justin batted it away, seizing Nikola’s wrist. “Ha! Not so old and feeble that I cannot teach an impudent scamp a lesson or three,” Justin growled in mock anger. He shifted to the side and flipped Nikola onto his stomach, twisting the young man’s arm behind his back to pin him face down against the mattress, muffling Nikola’s laughter. “Laugh at me, will you?” He swatted Nikola’s backside with his free hand, and received a muted yelp for his attentions. He slapped the firm flesh again, before his fingers curved to grope instead. Still holding Nikola’s arm to keep him from squirming, Justin moved to spread Nik’s legs with one knee, then knelt behind him, pushing the dressing gown open.
After climax, Justin collapsed against his lover. He pressed little kisses against Nikola’s cheek, ear, nape, shoulders, hugging him hard as Nikola snuggled in, content. Justin rolled onto his side, pulling Nikola close, and ran one hand down his chest. Nikola caught Justin’s hand before he reached between his legs, wrapping Justin’s arm over his chest in a clear signal that he’d had sufficient attention already. Justin pressed his cheek against Nikola’s shoulder, closing his eyes and breathing. I love you. Don’t leave me.
< /excerpt >
Anyway, I'm mostly indulging my preference for off-camera sex in fiction with these experimental versions, so, if you could not take them as a personal affront, I'd be much obliged.