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rowynI'm sure many of you are tired of reading about my dreams so,
I had two dreams that I remember something about. The first was actually about Cyprian, an NPC of mine on Sinai. This was very interesting for me, because I don't remember ever having a dream about one of my characters from, well, anywhere, before. Unfortunately, even at the point of waking I had already forgotten all the details. All I remember is that Cyprian was in it, and that something extremely painful had happened to him. I have a vague notion that his ribcage had been surgically pried apart as part of some--ritual? torture? sex play? no idea--by one or two females of his species. (Cyprian is an anthropomorphic bat. I'd explain what that means but, gosh, I think my whole audience already understands. :) Whatever had happened, it was over and Cyprian had survived it. Something else was happeneing in the dream when I woke, but I don't know what.
The second dream happened just before I got up, and I remember it a bit more clearly. I was part of one of those bizarre crossbreeds between realty TV and game show, I guess. There were a bunch of "contestants" who were competing to win prizes, and, apparently, my favor. (Maybe this is the format for an existing show, I don't know. I don't watch TV and only hear about this stuff through the 'net or newspapers.) I was floating in the ocean with one of the contestants, a pretty young blond woman with her hair in a ponytail. The waves were rocking us up and down. The show's host asked me if I wanted to go with one of the "losers" instead of continuing to be on the show. There was a brief montage of some of the people who'd already lost. Whatever the contests were, they weren't ones I had laid out. But it was my romantic life, and I didn't have to follow the rules of the game if I didn't want to. I told the host, "No, I want to go on."
I wanted to tell the pretty blonde I was with that it would be different if she were one of those eliminated. I was friendly with her and I liked her. But I wasn't sure how she'd take that. I wasn't sure if she was in this for me, or the other prizes, or if she was even interested in women. I didn't want to make her uncomfortable. I thought about saying, "If it was [X]", X being a handsome, muscled male contestant who wasn't with us at the moment, just so she'd know I wasn't only interested in how the contestants performed in the contests. But I didn't want her to think I wasn't interested in her at all. Saying "If it was you, or [X}" didn't sound right, either. I said nothing.
The waves washed us onto the shore. I scrambled up onto the beach, avoiding some funny-looking dragonoid plants. I thought, "OK, I'd better tell her now." I got the impression something had just changed in the show through the waves washing us up, but I'm not sure if that was true, or if so, what changed. I woke up.
I had two dreams that I remember something about. The first was actually about Cyprian, an NPC of mine on Sinai. This was very interesting for me, because I don't remember ever having a dream about one of my characters from, well, anywhere, before. Unfortunately, even at the point of waking I had already forgotten all the details. All I remember is that Cyprian was in it, and that something extremely painful had happened to him. I have a vague notion that his ribcage had been surgically pried apart as part of some--ritual? torture? sex play? no idea--by one or two females of his species. (Cyprian is an anthropomorphic bat. I'd explain what that means but, gosh, I think my whole audience already understands. :) Whatever had happened, it was over and Cyprian had survived it. Something else was happeneing in the dream when I woke, but I don't know what.
The second dream happened just before I got up, and I remember it a bit more clearly. I was part of one of those bizarre crossbreeds between realty TV and game show, I guess. There were a bunch of "contestants" who were competing to win prizes, and, apparently, my favor. (Maybe this is the format for an existing show, I don't know. I don't watch TV and only hear about this stuff through the 'net or newspapers.) I was floating in the ocean with one of the contestants, a pretty young blond woman with her hair in a ponytail. The waves were rocking us up and down. The show's host asked me if I wanted to go with one of the "losers" instead of continuing to be on the show. There was a brief montage of some of the people who'd already lost. Whatever the contests were, they weren't ones I had laid out. But it was my romantic life, and I didn't have to follow the rules of the game if I didn't want to. I told the host, "No, I want to go on."
I wanted to tell the pretty blonde I was with that it would be different if she were one of those eliminated. I was friendly with her and I liked her. But I wasn't sure how she'd take that. I wasn't sure if she was in this for me, or the other prizes, or if she was even interested in women. I didn't want to make her uncomfortable. I thought about saying, "If it was [X]", X being a handsome, muscled male contestant who wasn't with us at the moment, just so she'd know I wasn't only interested in how the contestants performed in the contests. But I didn't want her to think I wasn't interested in her at all. Saying "If it was you, or [X}" didn't sound right, either. I said nothing.
The waves washed us onto the shore. I scrambled up onto the beach, avoiding some funny-looking dragonoid plants. I thought, "OK, I'd better tell her now." I got the impression something had just changed in the show through the waves washing us up, but I'm not sure if that was true, or if so, what changed. I woke up.
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Hold
Date: 2002-07-17 08:05 am (UTC)Trickster
Obligatory Dream Interpretation
Date: 2002-07-17 02:38 pm (UTC)Trickster
Re: Obligatory Dream Interpretation
From:Obligatory Dream Interpretation
Date: 2002-07-18 08:36 pm (UTC)Part the First: Cyprian's persona--the emotions and way of thinking he represents--is in extreme conflict with your sense of gender (or possibly sexuality; I don't know you well enough to determine which). His personality is being repressed, and is possibly changing as a result. Without knowing anything about Cyprian, I can't go into more detail.
Part the Second: This one deals with your own outlook on sexuality and relationships. You're currently making some difficult choices about your own interests as a sexual being. I think this is an ongoing struggle, and one whose depth you're not fully aware of. This seems most pertinent to identity; I believe the blond woman represents a part of you that might be more flirtatious or feminine in representation (not necessarily passive or submissive; I see this as more "femme" which may mean more self-oriented or expressive of oneself around others). Your conflict with her is in deciding whether that archetype will play a strong role in your sexual self-expression, or not. You like the idea of being more like this woman sexually, but you're too committed to your current self to change to be more like her. So, you're competing to retain control of your sexual self-expression and prevent any change. Presently, you're winning, but the conflict is becoming a drain on your mental energies.
Floating in water in this situation indicates to me that there are memories or experiences you're not quite aware of that bear directly on this issue. In other words, I don't expect you to be critically aware of this conflict in your waking life. If you are, then I believe there's even more to it than you currently realize.
Trickster
Re: Obligatory Dream Interpretation
From: