I definitely agree that while anger might prompt me to drop some guards and say things that I would have otherwise politely kept in my head ... it also tends to prompt me to say things that are totally wrong, because I am currently swept up in emotions - and I'm looking at things emotionally, rather than rationally.
When I'm angry, things get blown all out of proportion. Whatever it is that has my goat is the most important and driving thing in the world at that moment. It's one of the reasons, when I get angry with gwendelkitty, I often want to retreat, to go sit by myself in the dark and the bedroom, and calm down for 10 minutes - without someone at hand telling me, "Chill out. You're getting angry." (Someone telling me to "chill out" has, for whatever reason, the opposite effect of what I suppose is intended.)
Once I have a time to take a breather, the whole world is a different place. Sometimes, I'm still upset, I still think that I'm right and someone else is wrong, or whatever. But a lot of the time - I'm not. The angry haze blows off, and I'm able to put things slightly more into perspective (though I won't for a moment claim that I'm beyond obsessing even when I'm not angry).
If I go about expecting that when someone is angry and they say hurtful things, then that's the truth, then ... well, I probably won't have too many relationships that can survive much abrasion.
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2004-12-31 10:08 pm (UTC)When I'm angry, things get blown all out of proportion. Whatever it is that has my goat is the most important and driving thing in the world at that moment. It's one of the reasons, when I get angry with
Once I have a time to take a breather, the whole world is a different place. Sometimes, I'm still upset, I still think that I'm right and someone else is wrong, or whatever. But a lot of the time - I'm not. The angry haze blows off, and I'm able to put things slightly more into perspective (though I won't for a moment claim that I'm beyond obsessing even when I'm not angry).
If I go about expecting that when someone is angry and they say hurtful things, then that's the truth, then ... well, I probably won't have too many relationships that can survive much abrasion.