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I Am What I Make
When I make stories, I am a storyteller.
When I make session logs, I am a game master.
When I make money, I am a banker.
When I make bad art, I am a bad artist.
When I make nothing ....
When I make session logs, I am a game master.
When I make money, I am a banker.
When I make bad art, I am a bad artist.
When I make nothing ....
When you make nothing...
...It's called resting, relaxing, recharging, refreshing, renewal.
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You're showing a skill or a gift, if you will, and that has earned you no small adoration
But right at your best, you can still take a rest, and relax, resting right on your laurels
We who follow those works see new doings as perks -- and their absence as no lack of morals
Or of any weak lack. We're not taken aback when you make "nothing" as you've discerned it:
We are here. We are friends. And each one of us sends you the best, and we know you have earned it.
===|==============/ Level Head
from nothing you came and to nothing you return
(Anonymous) 2006-03-14 07:42 am (UTC)(link)Don't say you weren't warned
...you are what you started as.
If these feelings of unease about productivity or efficiency are bothering you, beyond the ability to solace or soothe....you should ask yourself a few questions
Was there ever a time you felt that what you were needed no apology, no justification, no conditions ?
When did it change ?
What happened during this change and what does it imply about these lingering feelings ? To paraphrase a pointed observation you made once...you don't seem to have escaped the haunting sense of obligation that made you miserable before learning about existentialism and adopting it as the core of your outlook.
Is it possible you metamorphosized it into something you could neither please nor address nor respond to ?
And perhaps most importantly....
What was different about you that made you start as nothing and require some labor to earn justification and emotional pride in who you are ? Other people don't seem to have these feelings very commonly. But they seem to be a haunting refrain within the walls of your spirit.
And whatever happened, is it something that can be undone ? Mitigated ? Or merely endured ?
Re: from nothing you came and to nothing you return
For me I suspect during one of the bajillion speeches from my Parents (with secondary support from Schools, Counselors, Religious Figures, Corporate leaders, politicians and media) about studying and working hard so I could be a "good" and productive member of society. This would place it sometime after childhood when I entered unprotected into the hurricane force winds of other peoples' expectations. I literally had to rip myself out of my world and get a physically far away from it was possible to allow myself some time to lose the self-hate and develop without the external pressure.
This is Who I Choose to Be.
I Am.
-- BarbX
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Well, I am, I dunno about you. };)
When you make nothing...
(Anonymous) 2006-03-19 06:12 am (UTC)(link)- Krud
for some reason my password isn't working! ':(