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Responsibility
I was talking to a coworker about this earlier today, and I'm not sure I ever talked about it on LiveJournal.
I took a philosophy class in Existentialism as an undergraduate, and one thing in particular stuck with me about existentialism: the concept of personal responsibility.
Which has been coopted by politicians now, and I don't want to use the phrase because of the baggage strewn on top of it. But I don't know what better name to use.
I need to distinguish this from "responsible behavior". There is a meaning of responsibility that is "doing what you said you would" or even "doing what you're expected to do". When I clean my room, or do the laundry, or go to work, or complete the report I said I'd do, or finish writing my novel by 12/31 so that I make the goal I set for myself -- I am behaving responsibly. This is not at all what I mean by "personal responsibility".
It is not about doing the right thing. It is about acknowledging that whatever I do, right or wrong, it is because of my choices. It is not my parents' fault if I'm in class, because I could have skipped it if I really wanted to. It is not my boss's fault that I came to work, because I could quit if I chose to. Sometimes those choices suck. I may not want to choose between looking for a new job and working late at my current job. For some people (not me), those choices may be really awful, like between getting killed yourself or killing someone else.
But for me, my choices have never been between awful things. I may be scared of the consequences, but when I think about them, the worst case scenario isn't "starved to death in a gutter" or "shot by an abusive ex" or whatever.
And I always found that idea of being responsible for my choices liberating. I was not in the thrall of teachers, parents, corporations, schools, managers, whomever. I am free to choose my own actions. Those choices may be constrained by various forces (the laws of physics for one) but I still get to make them. And within the space of those choices, I am free.
I don't know how to explain how much difference that made to me. Because I was not only free to drop out of school and be homeless and shiftless if I wanted, but I was also free to stay and learn. I was free to own the choices I had been making all along. Once I acknowledged that it was my choice, it no longer troubled me as much that I was doing it. It made all the difference in the world.
I took a philosophy class in Existentialism as an undergraduate, and one thing in particular stuck with me about existentialism: the concept of personal responsibility.
Which has been coopted by politicians now, and I don't want to use the phrase because of the baggage strewn on top of it. But I don't know what better name to use.
I need to distinguish this from "responsible behavior". There is a meaning of responsibility that is "doing what you said you would" or even "doing what you're expected to do". When I clean my room, or do the laundry, or go to work, or complete the report I said I'd do, or finish writing my novel by 12/31 so that I make the goal I set for myself -- I am behaving responsibly. This is not at all what I mean by "personal responsibility".
It is not about doing the right thing. It is about acknowledging that whatever I do, right or wrong, it is because of my choices. It is not my parents' fault if I'm in class, because I could have skipped it if I really wanted to. It is not my boss's fault that I came to work, because I could quit if I chose to. Sometimes those choices suck. I may not want to choose between looking for a new job and working late at my current job. For some people (not me), those choices may be really awful, like between getting killed yourself or killing someone else.
But for me, my choices have never been between awful things. I may be scared of the consequences, but when I think about them, the worst case scenario isn't "starved to death in a gutter" or "shot by an abusive ex" or whatever.
And I always found that idea of being responsible for my choices liberating. I was not in the thrall of teachers, parents, corporations, schools, managers, whomever. I am free to choose my own actions. Those choices may be constrained by various forces (the laws of physics for one) but I still get to make them. And within the space of those choices, I am free.
I don't know how to explain how much difference that made to me. Because I was not only free to drop out of school and be homeless and shiftless if I wanted, but I was also free to stay and learn. I was free to own the choices I had been making all along. Once I acknowledged that it was my choice, it no longer troubled me as much that I was doing it. It made all the difference in the world.
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I think it'll sink in by the time they are adults though.
If there's anyway you could articulate this down to a 10-yr-old's understanding (and short attention span :-) that'd be great. Because I really like the ending: I was not only free to drop out of school and be homeless and shiftless if I wanted, but I was also free to stay and learn. I was free to own the choices I had been making all along. Once I acknowledged that it was my choice, it no longer troubled me as much that I was doing it. It made all the difference in the world.
Maybe I'll just use that.
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The closest I came to realizing it when I was actually a kid was when I was looking out a doorway at school and thinking of just walking away, and being free. That nothing was *making* me go to class or worry about my grades. I could leave. It would suck, but I could do it. And I thought "Then I'd be free. Homeless and hungry and cold, maybe, but free". But I didn't make the connection that I still had that freedom by staying, too. Staying was the default choice, but it's still a choice.
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On the other hand, I do like the kind of freedom that comes from having no choices be wrong -- if anything you can do is acceptable, then you're *actually free* to make a decision. Having no choice at all isn't freedom, but having the choice to do the obviously right thing or screw yourself over is possibly even worse.
I'm not saying that I expect or even necessarily want to be the pampered pet of a benevolent alien overlord... okay, that would be kind of sweet. Still! I can deal with having to take some responsibility to maintain the world or whatever, but having at least some time where I can just forget everything and not worry about responsibility is important to me. v.v Relaxing by myself playing computer games is a good start. c.c But even then, I have to worry about 'oh no, don't order ten pizzas and eat them all, you'll make yourself sick!' and, you know, stuff like that.
There was a comic 'Thieves and Kings' that talked about this, though. One of the main characters was a 'Thief', which meant that he was not bound by any rules and could do whatever he wanted, and no one could stop him. Not by law -- the law certainly *tried* to stop him! -- but he had a sort of mythical force behind him, and his own nature led him to completely ignore laws and expectations when deciding what to do. And the wizard told him, that being a thief is dangerous, because since you're rejecting all laws and expectations, you're completely responsible for everything that happens as a result of your actions, whether or not you intended it.
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Other than that, pretty much the same idea, I think.
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For people one likes, anything they do that's good is the result of their free and unconstrained will, while anything they do that's bad was forced on them by circumstances.
For people one doesn't like, the reverse is true.
--Skarl the Drummer
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